New Parents | Planning for Your New Normal

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New Parents, your life will never be normal again.

Ok, that’s not entirely true. You will settle into a new normal but when a baby is born, life as you know it comes to an end. That can sound daunting! How will you make sure your new baby is cared for, your home is tended to, your work keeps going? When new parents are settling into a new normal it will take work. With some skilled planning and a willingness to shift when needed, you’ll find yourself in a groove before too long.

 

End of New Parents Leave

Usually once a baby has arrived one or both parents will get some amount of leave from their job. Circumstances look different for each employer. Explore what options you and/or your partner have for parental leave once your baby has arrived. How long can you take? When preparing to return to work, consider what will make it easiest including a hybrid or virtual work schedule for a period of time or even permanently. Explore these options and what they will look like with your employer.

New Caregiver

New parents transitioning to a new caregiver will take some effort but with planning it can be as smooth as possible. Ensure your new caregiver has adequate bottles and pumped milk or formula available to feed the baby. Pack their bag well with extra diapers, wipes, outfits, and anything else they may need. Discuss any circumstances unique to your family that your new caregiver may need to understand (is your baby on medication? Do they need to be fed a certain way? etc.) Communication is key to make transitioning to a new caregiver as easy as possible.

Balancing Home/Work

A new baby will always change the dynamics in a house. Consider how to make the transition easier for yourself as new parents, your pets, big siblings, and extended family members. Identify how your household tasks are currently split. Who takes out the trash? What about cooking meals? Who does the dishes? Consider a chart or writing out a schedule for when these things occur and think about planning to prepare food ahead of time while you ease into your new routine.

 

Babies change your life in the blink of an eye and it can feel overwhelming going through all the changes that you will face. With an open mind, lots of communication, and a plan ready, going back to work will feel challenging but not impossible. 

 

Need some extra help? Check out our Free Ultimate Postpartum Planning Guide!

Safe Sleep: The 2024 Update

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As a society we are obsessed with infants’ sleep. The first questions people ask after you welcome a little one into your home are often focused on sleep.

“So how is the baby sleeping?”

“Are you getting any sleep?”

And my personal favorite, “Are they sleeping through the night?” 

It’s almost as though how well (or not) an infant sleeps is the gauge to measure the caliber or quality of the baby. 

“She’s giving us 5 hour spans of sleep. She’s such a good baby.”

While your friends, family, colleagues and oftentimes perfect strangers, are all well-meaning, it can be difficult to filter through the opinions, misconceptions, and outdated information. As childbirth & parenting educators, postpartum doulas, and Newborn Care Specialists, we always strive to stay on top of the most up to date and relevant information pertaining to newborn sleep safety, developmentally appropriate sleep habits, and the latest sleep related gear and gadgets. 

A quick walk down the infant gadgets aisle at Target may also lead you to believe that it costs hundreds of dollars to get a baby to sleep- 400 variations of swaddles, white noise machines, cribs, bassinets, dozens of types of crib/bassinet mattresses, projection machines, motion sensing video monitors, respiration and heart rate sensors, and intuitive bassinets. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released an updated version of their safe sleep guidelines earlier this summer. This information can be helpful to pass along to anyone who may play a part in your baby’s care. Much of this bulletin is clarification or reiteration of previously released information along with some updated recommendations. Here’s our recap. 

1. The ABC’s of safe sleep: Alone, on their Back, in a Crib (or bassinet).

Babies should always sleep in their own dedicated sleep space (a crib or bassinet specifically), not bedsharing with any other family members (no shared couch or chair sleeping either). This applies to multiples sharing a sleep surface as well. Placing a baby to sleep on their back can help to maintain baby’s airway. Notice how your little one tends to turn their head to the side frequently – this is to ensure they can breathe properly, as dipping their chin to chest can close off their airway. 

The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is responsible for testing and monitoring of infant sleep related products like cribs, bassinets, play yards and bedside sleepers. The CPSC also maintains an extensive recall listing, so you can check their website to ensure the baby gear you are using, particularly if it has been handed down to you by friends or family, is safe for your baby.

2. Avoid routine sleep on less safe surfaces.

Car seats, swings, loungers, etc are not recommended for routine sleep, and should never be utilized for unsupervised sleep. One of the guidelines that we teach is that if your baby gadget has straps, USE them EVERY time. These straps help to hold baby’s bottom in the appropriate seating position so they don’t scoot and compromise their airway. 

Another consideration is whether baby will be able to sufficiently turn their head to the side; swings, bouncer seats and pillow like devices like the Doc-a-tot or Boppy lounger can restrict head movement causing baby to rebreathe or inhibit the dissipation of CO2. If you are not able to keep an eye on your sleeping baby, it’s always best to move them to a safe sleep surface.

3. Sleep related items to use (and some to avoid).

Pacifier usage reduces the risk of SIDS. Swaddles should be used if desired, but only until your baby shows signs of rolling. Once your baby is rolling, opt for a wearable blanket like this one. Do not use loose blankets until your baby is well over 12 months of age.

One of the most recent recommendations is to avoid the use of weighted swaddles (like the Nested Bean) or additional weighted objects (rice sock, etc). When studied, these products show they may pose a risk to baby by lowering their breathing rates.

Also updated in 2022 recommendations is that for healthy, full-term babies, at-home cardiorespiratory monitors (like the Owlet, Snuza, Nanit Complete, etc) are not recommended. These products may actually increase new parents’ anxiety levels by alarming unnecessarily and creating a false sense of security. If you feel your baby needs monitoring, talk with your doctor.

Findng yourself needing some guidance? Join us for our Baby 101: The 4th Trimester workshop. For extra hands, plan for in-home postpartum support or overnight newborn care. Safe and developmentally appropriate newborn sleep is a topic we always prioritize.

Newborn Classes and Childbirth Education for New Parents

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There isn’t a handbook for pregnancy, birth, or parenthood and that can be overwhelming. If you’re finding yourself with notebooks or spreadsheets full of information to wade through, you’re not alone. We have access to an entire internet full of recommendations, be they current or outdated. Finding reasonable, science-backed answers can feel like an uphill battle and a lonely one at that. Are childbirth classes really necessary? Are newborn care classes worth it?Where can I find newborn classes and childbirth education in Baltimore?

That’s a call only you and your partner can make.

Childbirth Education

What is Childbirth Education?

Childbirth Education Classes are educational programs taught by experienced instructors well versed in the field of Pregnancy, Birth, and Postpartum. Childbirth Education curriculum varies and classes attended are generally chosen based on your preferences. Some focus heavily on a larger, trademarked curriculum such as Evidence Based Birth or Lamaze, while others are completely unique to the instructor such as Doulas of Baltimore’s signature Complete Childbirth Education Series.

Childbirth Education classes can be taught in person, online, in a group setting, or on an individual basis. There are many options and approaches, the bottom line is finding one that someone you trust teaches.

 

What should my class cover?

While there are many different types of curriculum, and the benefits of childbirth education still require more official study, it’s well known that access to education increases positive outcomes. When looking at classes, ensure yours covers these basic topics:

  • Decision making strategies to ensure you remain an active participant in your birth story
  • Tips for staying healthy and comfortable in late pregnancy
  • Physiology and the process of labor and birth
  • Common interventions and medication options
  • How to create and communicate your birth preferences
  • Hands-on coping, comfort and relaxation techniques 
  • Preparing for the postpartum experience

 

Whether you’re planning on going through childbirth without an epidural or are open to medication, understanding these key topics can help you create the birth and postpartum experience that will set you up for success.

 

Doulas of Baltimore is hosting our Spring session of our Complete Childbirth Series on Saturdays beginning April 6th, 2024 in Baltimore and our One Day Baby 101 workshop in Frederick. Our Complete Childbirth Series runs 4 weeks and covers 12 hours of science-backed education in an affirming and open environment. Our Baby 101 workshop is a one day intensive that gives new parents all the essential information they need. Learn more and register here!

Newborn Care Classes

What are Newborn Care Classes?

Newborn Care Classes are educational sessions for anyone who needs updated information on the care and keeping of newborn babies. Experienced teachers lead these classes who have taken professional training and work in the field. There are many different options for taking these classes including Hospital-based programs and more uniquely designed curriculum created by individuals. Ensure the source and how frequently the materials are updated are considered when searching for your classes. Safety standards for newborns and infants change regularly and ensuring you have the latest information ensures you’re able to keep your baby safe and those around your baby updated.

What should my class cover?

All Newborn Care classes should cover the basics of baby care such as feeding and diapering as well as:

  • Preparing your home and family for a newborn
  • Common baby gear and gadgets
  • Normal newborn characteristics
  • Hygiene including diapering, bathing, and dressing
  • Crying and newborn communication
  • Comfort and bonding techniques
  • Newborn sleep patterns and safe sleep
  • Feeding options and techniques
  • Hunger and satiation cues
  • Common feeding obstacles

 

Doulas of Baltimore has an opportunity for Newborn Care Education this Spring. Join us in Baltimore for our 4 Week Essential Newborn Care Series. This class runs 4 weeks and covers 12 hours of science-backed education in an affirming and open environment. Learn more and register here!

 

When considering the question, “What childbirth classes should I take?” consider who is teaching it, what the course covers, and if the curriculum is aligned with your birth wishes. If you’re searching for infant care classes for new parents we recommend ensuring that the course is based in science and has up-to-date information on safety and development for newborn babies. We recommend if you’re searching for Newborn classes and Childbirth Education in Baltimore or Frederick, consider Doulas of Baltimore!

 

We believe education is one of the most important things you can invest in. Above all when we educate ourselves we empower ourselves to make sound decisions, enter any situation with confidence, and create a great environment for a positive experience. Generally taking classes with your birth partner prior to giving birth can deeply connect you to one another creating a sense of safety and support.

Pinterest graphic about classes for new parents to take

The Witching Hour: The Scariest Time of Day for New Parents

Nearly every parent can recall a moment during those early weeks of their baby’s life, when their sweet, innocent little bundle of joy seemed more like a terrifying little monster. This scary time is often referred to as the “Witching Hour”, derived from folklore to mean the time of day when the ghosts, monsters, and demons were said to have appeared. 

Like the term ‘morning sickness’ (which frequently happens far more often than just the morning), the phrase ‘witching hour’ is also a misnomer. Your newborn may spend well more than 60 minutes in this seemingly inconsolable state. Particularly during this time of year, when the sun sets earlier, it is not uncommon for the witching hour to include the hours leading up to and immediately following sunset. 

So what then IS the witching hour?  

The witching hour is a period of excessive fussiness, crying, irritability, and/or sleeplessness, sometimes spanning several hours, often occurring during the late afternoon into evening. It is extremely common for newborns, particularly in weeks 2-4 of their lives, to exhibit this behavior but can (unfortunately) extend for weeks. 

What causes the witching hour in newborns?

Overstimulation

It’s the end of another long and grueling day; you’ve been bombarded by noises, lights, sounds, textures, smells, and other external stimuli for hours on end. It’s enough to make adults want to retreat to their happy place! Now, consider a newborn, only weeks into this journey that is life, experiencing all of these same stimuli. This is why the number one cause of the ‘witching hour’ can be attributed simply to overstimulation. As humans, when we are overwhelmed by external stimuli, it is difficult for our mind and body to rest – overstimulation leads to being overtired too.

Gastrointestinal Discomforts

Your baby’s GI system is also brand new, working hard to learn how to suck, swallow, and digest milk, absorb nutrients, and pass gas and stool. It can be expected that this immaturity can contribute to increased gas (and the ensuing fussiness and discomfort), particularly after a full day of feedings. It’s also not unusual for excess gas and discomfort to compound throughout the day. 

Hunger

A baby’s nutritional needs change throughout the course of the day. It is not uncommon for babies to appear more hungry during the late afternoon and evening hours. This is partially a biological response for breastfed babies in that breastmilk production and supply tends to be at the lowest during this time of day. Babies who are bottle fed may exhibit hunger cues even after finishing their usual portion of milk. 

Tricks & Treats: What can we do to help our baby through the witching hour?

Reduce stimulus 

If you have taken DOB’s Baby 101 workshop, you have likely learned about Dr. Harvey Karp and his 5 S’s; Swaddle, Sway, Side-lying, Suck, and Shhh (or Sound). Combining these five activities can help to reduce external stimuli and, hopefully, encourage baby to close their eyes. A favorite trick for our postpartum doulas is taking baby, swaddled and with a pacifier, into the bathroom, turning off the lights and turning on the exhaust fan! And baby-wearing can be a treat for the whole family. Putting baby in an inward-facing wrap or carrier is a great tool to get through this time, too.

Encourage burps and toots

Encouraging baby to burp and pass gas frequently throughout the day can help alleviate fussiness and bloating in the evenings. Whether breast or bottle feeding, burping baby mid-feeding is always a good idea. Giving baby time to lay and move their limbs can also aid in teaching them how to release gas as well. Ultimately, time and maturity are the only true ‘fix’. 

Feed frequently

While we can’t eliminate baby’s desire to feed frequently in the evenings, sometimes preemptively increasing afternoon feedings can help. This may mean waking more frequently for shorter durations between feedings (2-2.5 hours maximum would be our recommendation). Or increasing the amount or duration at the last feeding session prior to the anticipated witching hour time frame. Cluster feeding, especially in the evenings, is very normal for breastfed babies in anticipation of a growth spurt. Again, this is an instance where time may be the only solution.

Is there a way to eliminate the witching hour?

While it can be difficult to accommodate for every family, one of the benefits of this time of year is the earlier sunsets.  If their witching hour is around 5 pm, ensuring they have a quality late afternoon nap may help. Take advantage of the darkness to push baby’s bedtime back a bit. If baby seems cranky, irritable or inconsolable by 7:30 pm every night, aiming to have them settled and to sleep by 7 pm could help (and mean you might get a few minutes of peace!).

While we can not guarantee that these tips and tricks will work every time with every baby, we can assure you that you are not alone, and ultimately, this time will pass. 

5 Basic Questions to Think About Before Baby Comes Home

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Being pregnant and preparing for birth can feel overwhelming enough without considering what happens when you bring baby home. But postpartum planning before baby arrives can save you a lot of stress when you will want to be resting and recovering from delivery. And, you might have postpartum brain fog that makes thinking about your options (not to mention making decisions) hard. At Doulas of Baltimore, we think of the first three months at home as the fourth trimester. The postpartum period comes with its own challenges and joys. Here are some basic questions to consider before you go into labor that will make your postpartum life easier. 

What will your home look like?

Because nesting is very real, you may have already set up a nursery or room for your baby. But realistically, this isn’t where baby will be spending most of their time. For the first six months, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends baby sleep in your room. But where does baby sleep during daytime naps? Do you want to have a dedicated changing table, setups in different parts of the house, or a moveable station? Where will be the best place to feed baby during the day and at night? Consider the layout of your living space and the setup of cribs, feeding or pumping stations, and changing tables. 

What does everyday at home look like? 

A baby changes things: we know this. And postpartum planning involves thinking about the details of how things have changed. Who will feed baby when they wake up at night? Who will change baby? Who will cook meals? Who will walk the dog? Who will take big sister to school? Who will go to baby’s appointments? Who will clean and tidy the house? 

Who can you go to for extra support? 

While everyone might want to meet your new baby, that doesn’t necessarily mean they can provide the support you need. Consider which friends and family can provide practical support, like buying groceries, cooking meals, walking the dog, or taking care of siblings if you are at the hospital longer than expected. 

Who are the care providers you need?  

With care providers, there are the basic people you need to have planned out, and others that you may want to think about having lined up. While you’ve been dealing with an OB, midwife, and/or doula before birth, afterward you’ll need a pediatrician. You may also want a postpartum doula or lactation consultant. If you are concerned about postpartum depression or emotions after birth, you may want to find a mental health provider before delivery since they can have Before you leave the hospital, you’ll need a carseat installed, and we recommend having it checked by a Child Passenger Safety Technician (CPST) or “car seat tech”.

What does post-parental leave look like? 

There is unfortunately no standard for parental leave, so consider when parents will be going back to work and what happens then. Do you have a nanny, babysitter, friend, or grandparent who can care for baby? Will you need a daycare? 

 

This is just a short overview of questions that we see new parents considering as they bring their babies home. Over the next months, we will be going more in depth on these questions and providing guidance and advice for the postpartum period.