Why Babies Cry and How to Soothe Them

Babies cry. It’s one way they tell you they need food, warmth, or attention. But because we know a baby’s cries mean that it needs something, it can also cause us stress, concern, and frustration. Ultimately, too much crying makes us tired and frustrated. We want to explore some common reasons baby cry, baby soothing tools, and the basics of the 5 S’s. 

Common Reasons Baby Cry 

When babies cry, they are trying to tell us something. The most common cause of crying is because they are hungry. But, they might also cry due to overfeeding, a bloated belly, or gas. The next most common reasons babies cry is because they are tired. They might also be physically uncomfortable. If they have a dirty diaper, the poop can cause pain and burning. And if they have too much or not enough clothing, they may also cry. If you are concerned about your baby’s crying, consult your care provider.

The 5 S’s 

Dr. Harvey Karp writes that babies are, in a sense, really born 3 months early. The newborn nervous system is not fully developed and unequipped to manage the external stimulus of the world outside the womb. It helps to think of doing what you can to recreate a womb-like environment during baby’s “4th trimester.” The 5 S’s are for once baby’s biological needs are met; a means of reducing external stimulus which generally results in baby calming down and falling asleep. 

The 5 S’s are: Swaddle, Side-Stomach Position, Shush, Swing, and Suck. Swaddling helps babies through recreating a womb-like sensation and providing  and can help them fuss less and sleep better. While babies should only sleep on their backs, you can help calm baby by holding them in Side or Stomach position. A baby is surrounded by sound in the womb, and a white noise shushing sound can help calm crying. A womb is also swinging as a pregnant person moves around, and babies are used to this motion. Finally, many babies can find calm in sucking–hence the popularity of pacifiers and thumbs with babies. 

Baby Soothing Tools

There are also gadgets and tools that can help you with soothing techniques. In a recent post, we discussed the Snoo, which Dr. Karp developed as a smart bassinet to help with automatic calming through movement and noise. There are also other bassinets that offer movement as a way to soothe baby, and shushers that create the whooshing sounds baby was used to in the womb. A less high-tech way of employing one of the 5 S’s is through a pacifier (for sucking) or a swaddle cloth (just make sure you are swaddling your baby correctly). 

You can learn more about baby soothing and communication techniques at our Baby 101 class. 

4 Ways to Prepare for Baby’s Arrival

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Two things can happen as you get closer to your baby’s arrival date. You feel the urge to nest, or prepare your home for the new baby. You might set up the nursery or clean the house. You also might feel overwhelmed and anxious about getting everything done. Here is an overview of four ways you can prepare for baby’s arrival. 

Set Up Your Home

The first thing that new parents usually think about is where baby is going to sleep. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies “room in,” (https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/sleep/Pages/A-Parents-Guide-to-Safe-Sleep.aspx) or sleep in the same room as parents, for the first 6 months. Make sure that the crib or bassinet is away from windows, heavy shelves, and electrical cords. Other things you might want in the nursery or in your bedroom are a diaper changing table, chair for feeding, a dresser for clothing, and places to store extra diapers and toys. Consider buying natural or greenguard items to prevent off-gassing, or buy them used or well in advance of baby’s arrival. 

Get the Gadgets 

Some gadgets aren’t really gadgets at all: they are necessary tools. For example, you can’t leave the hospital without a proper car seat. Many new parents opt for car seat/stroller combos, where the carrier snaps into the car seat or the stroller, for a variety of functions. 

Additionally, a baby carrier or babywearing device can be worth its weight in gold. Babies are soothed by being nestled close, while parents enjoy having their hands and arms free. Slings, wraps, and packlike/structured carriers are all great options. Often families will opt to have a couple carriers to choose from depending on who is wearing the baby and whether they are on for a walk (or other outdoor activity) or if they are trying to get chores done around the house. Check out this list of babywearing devices. 

Another popular product we’ve seen lately is the Snoo smart bassinet. Many new parents swear by their effectiveness. So much so that some employers (like Under Armour) are taking notice and now provide a 6 month rental Snoo bassinet for their employees. The bassinet responds to a baby’s cries with swaddling, shushing, and swaying (part of the 5S theory). It does this by rocking and playing white noise to soothe the baby. It also ensures that babies sleep on their backs with a special sleep sack. 

Clinical Decisions to Consider 

Less exciting than preparing the nursery or getting everything ready, but just as important, are the clinical decisions to consider before baby arrives. While you’ve been working with a doula and midwife and/or an obstetrician, once baby is born, they’ll need a pediatrician. Ask your healthcare provider for recommendations and get a pediatric care provider. Similarly, begin thinking about childcare providers. While you may have time off from work, consider who will take care of baby when you head back to work. Lastly, consider options available at the hospital for your newborn such as cord blood donation or delaying cord clamping, erythromycin eye ointment, vitamin K injection, and circumcision. 

Take Care of Yourself 

In the excitement and nervousness you may experience before bringing baby home, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. You can take time to appreciate your friendships, your romantic relationship, or your relationship with your other children through special trips or outings. And make sure to get adequate nutrition and rest – things that might be in short supply in the coming months.

You can learn more about how to prepare for baby’s arrival through our Baby 101: The 4th Trimester, Birth Basics or Complete Childbirth Education classes. Click here to learn more.

Overnight Postpartum Doula Care

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We all know that bringing home a new baby means a big transition, whether it’s your first child or your fourth! Many of our clients realize the need for additional support during this transition call on a postpartum doula to help. Our postpartum doulas are Newborn Care Specialists and professionally-trained experts. Daytime postpartum doulas can provide professional support including soothing techniques, feeding guidance, and addressing questions about postpartum physical and mental health. Our overnight postpartum doulas provide much-needed support making sure that the whole family (including visiting parents and in-laws) get the sleep they need, offer feeding support, and encourage safe and developmentally appropriate sleeping habits. 

Sometimes our Newborn Care Specialists are incorrectly referred to as a night nanny or a night nurse. However, doulas and Newborn Care Specialists are neither nannies or nurses, but rather have specialized training for newborn care. 

During every overnight shift, your doula will provide you with a log and notes detailing your baby’s night. Below is a sample of exactly what a shift log from your doula/NCS may look like. 

Overnight Postpartum Doula Shift Notes

8:45pm: Arrived for my 9pm shift. Removed shoes, changed into a fresh DOB shirt and washed hands. Greeted Dad and was escorted upstairs where Mom was nursing the baby. I said hello to Mom and Baby as she got up to change his diaper then chatted with her while she tried to nurse him some more. 

9:15pm: Baby was a bit fussy, so I offered to carry Baby while the parents showed me around the house and chatted about plans for the night. Mom plans to nurse him for his next feeding and then I’ll give a bottle for the one after that. I encouraged both parents to get ready for bed and worked on getting Baby settled down. He was swaddled with a paci then we walked and jiggled and patted until he finally stayed asleep at 10:35. I tried laying him down several times before that but he would start to cry and jostle around. 

10:35 pm: Baby asleep in bassinet.

11:25 pm: He had hiccups and was awake, replaced paci and rocked with hand on his chest.

11:40 pm: Back to sleep.

12:30 am: Fussy. Changed wet diaper and took him to Mom to nurse. 

1:00 am: Burped, changed poopy/wet diaper. Swaddled with Paci and rocked to settle. 

1:15 am: Soundly asleep in bassinet.

3:35 am: Fussing and grunting. Went downstairs to prep a bottle with monitor. Baby finished 2 oz of the 2.5 oz bottle of EBM. 2 huge burps half way through. Texted Mom so she could wake up and pump. 

3:50 am: Back asleep in bassinet.

4:30 am: Brief wake up. Wouldn’t settle with paci, hand on chest or rocking. Finished maybe 1/2 oz of bottle. Burped and right back to sleep. 

6:15 am: Fussy and wouldn’t stay asleep in bassinet. Wanted to be held and would go back to sleep and then wake up as soon as I laid him down, so we rocked in the nursery chair. 

6:35 am: Changed wet/poo diaper. 

6:45 am: Mom came down and nursed him while we talked about the night, including creating sleep associations, tips on keeping baby awake during the day for developmentally appropriate stretches and nursing on demand not to exceed 2.5 hours during the daytime hours. 

7:05 am: Said goodbye to a well rested family!  

 

The goals of an overnight shift might change from night-to-night or family-to-family. This is why our Overnight Newborn Care package includes five continuous weeks of three 10-hour overnight shifts per week. This allows your whole family needed rest and sets a foundation of healthy sleep habits for your baby. This postpartum doula care package can be duplicated for extended support as well. Contact us to find out more about our overnight newborn care.

What Does a Postpartum Doula Do?

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We know that bringing your newest family member home can be exciting and challenging, even if you prepare for baby’s arrival with childbirth education classes and prenatal support. Our trained and certified postpartum doulas help you with a smooth and manageable transition as you welcome a new member to your family. Through a combination of daytime, evening, and overnight shifts, we are here to support your family’s unique needs. Here are the ways we offer practical, informational, and emotional support at home, when you need it. 

A postpartum doula’s practical support helps you take care of baby, yourself, and your family. 

Many times, people come to us looking for practical support when baby comes home. This can include feeding, caring for baby so you can attend to your needs, or helping prepare meals. During an overnight shift, a postpartum doula might put baby to bed, change diapers, and settle baby back to sleep. During a day shift, our support might allow you to take a shower, cook a meal, or breastfeed in peace. As helpful as the practical support is, many families express deep appreciation for the information and hands-on teaching their doula provided during the postpartum adjustment.

We provide information so you understand the 4th trimester. 

The first weeks and months after baby is born are often called the “4th trimester”, and many parents have just as many questions about what to expect as they did during pregnancy (if not more!). Postpartum doulas can do many specific tasks around the house, but many clients report that our value comes from being childbirth and newborn experts. We provide feeding guidance, offer soothing techniques, answer questions about postpartum and newborn health, and information on sleep habits. 

In the morning after a recent overnight shift, our doula talked to one partner about how the night went, and how to get baby sleeping for longer stretches. She offered advice such as creating sleep associations, keeping baby awake during the day for developmentally appropriate stretches, and nursing demands during the day. We are here to provide the support you want, but your doula will also work with you and your family to create the household, feeding, and sleep routines that work for you so that we are no longer needed! 

Emotional support from a postpartum doula helps your family grow and adjust with confidence. 

In general, our postpartum doulas provide fifty hours of in-person support during the baby’s first five weeks at home. These can be split between daytime, evening, and overnight shifts. However, our job as postpartum doulas is to create a smooth transition and give you and your family the skills and knowledge needed to manage the addition of baby. 

For example, during one daytime shift, our doula spoke to one partner about returning to work. He was looking forward to it, but felt guilty about leaving his partner with the new baby at home. Our doula talked about ways to continue contributing and how he could alternate bedtime duties. We are here to provide steadfast, non-judgemental support so you can feel confident about welcoming a new child into your family. 

Learn more about our postpartum doula offerings or contact DOB today!

Getting the sleep you (and your newborn) need!

Who among us doesn’t treasure a great night’s sleep? And how many new or expectant parents have heard the horror stories of newborn sleep skills (or lack thereof!) and their parents who can’t recall the last time they woke up in the morning feeling refreshed? There’s no denying that finding a way to get some good rest is a challenge in the early months of new parenthood, so let’s talk about it!

Babies Sleep, Just Not the Way We’d Like!

First, let’s explore what to expect from your baby at night, and why they do what they do. The first three months of an infant’s life are commonly referred to as the “Fourth Trimester”. During this time their physical and emotional development that began in the womb are completed. Their brains begin the process of learning by association and are busy sorting out the world. Their bodies are learning to eat and sleep with purpose, and they need their parents’ help to develop patterns which will help their systems regulate.

With their tiny tummies, newborns need to eat every three to four hours at night. Parents might wish for a great night’s sleep, the health and survival of their baby is likely to demand otherwise for a while. Day and night are still meaningless to them, and their circadian rhythm has yet to develop, so their bodies aren’t giving them cues to sleep just because night has come.

If you’ve done any research or talked to other parents, you have seen and heard lots of advice on how to get your baby to sleep, some of which directly contradicts other recommendations. You may be left confused and anxious. And wondering how you are supposed to know the best way to get it right from the beginning. While the task at hand can seem monumental and overwhelming, some simple steps can get you and your babies on the right track for excellent rest. 

Basics of Safe, Comfortable Newborn Sleep

Start with the basics – a safe sleep surface such as a crib or bassinet with no additional blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, bumpers, or cushions. Next, decide where in the home baby will be sleeping. Will you be rooming in for a few weeks, or starting from day 1 in the nursery? Both have their pros and cons, and only you can make the choice about what will get your family the best rest possible! Some families find having baby close at hand makes responding to their needs at night quicker and less overall distracting from peaceful sleep. Others find they hear every little noise, and thus need the distance of a wall between them and baby so they can actually fall asleep in between feeding and soothing sessions.

Sleep Associations – use them!

Next, let’s talk about comfort and routine. Building healthy sleep associations from day 1 can actually help mitigate the need for intense sleep training months later. All babies are born with a biological need to feel safe, secure, and soothed whether it’s day or night. How do we meet those needs while we rest? 

  1. Womb Service. During the day, babies are often happy to sleep anywhere, through any amount of noise and light. But when it comes to nighttime sleep, it really helps to think about recreating the environment your baby just left. What about it can be translated into a safe and soothing aid for sleeping in your home? Baby’s room should be dark (think black out curtains!). Set a comfortable temperature without drafts (68-72 degrees, though cooler is better than warmer for babies). Lastly, add ambient white noise to muffle the minor disruptions from the rest of the household.
  2. Swaddle. Babies sleep better when swaddled in their first weeks! Why? They’ve been swaddled their whole lives in the cushy, cozy environment of the womb before birth. The trick is getting a snug, secure swaddle that baby can’t easily wriggle out of. Hell hath no fury like a baby who got their arm out of a swaddle before they were really ready to wake up! Velcro and snap swaddle pods are appealing, but if your newborn is particularly tiny, they often don’t get tight enough. Stick to the tried and true large, muslin swaddle blankets and a good old fashioned baby-burrito-wrap. Check out the video demo on our YouTube channel, or let us teach you in person. Our postpartum doulas are often deemed magical when we show parents how we swaddle during a night shift! 
  3. Soothe. Babies are born with a biological need to suck for comfort and as a prevention from SIDS. Sucking actually helps them regulate their breathing! If you don’t want to or can’t nurse an infant 24/7, they’re going to have to fulfill this need elsewhere. Pacifiers are an indispensable tool in healthy newborn sleep in this regard! A well-fed infant who is steadily gaining weight can safely be offered a pacifier for sleep soothing without concern it will impact their feeding relationship. 

Don’t Try to Keep Them Up!

While at first it might seem counterintuitive, sleep begets sleep. Set a consistent nap routine as soon as you are able during the day. Overtired infants are actually harder to get to sleep. Newborns should generally not stay awake between naps more than 45 minutes to 1 hour (for more on periods of wakefulness as baby ages, see Precious Little Sleep). Watching for signs and signals your newborn is ready for rest is just as key as setting the right tone for their sleep environment. Avoiding meltdowns from exhaustion means noticing your baby’s sleep cues. Do they start to rub their eyes, ears, neck, or head? Do they give you a ‘thousand yard stare’ with half-drooping eyelids? Are they yawning repeatedly? Don’t wait for your baby to start crying to get them ready for sleep. Instead, pay attention to the signs and jump right into their sleep routine.

Sleep When Baby Sleeps??

While the old adage ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ still rings true to a point, often it’s easier said than done. Sometimes your brain just isn’t wired for rest when your baby lies down. To the best of your ability, at least practice periods of quiet when your baby naps during the day. If you can’t actually sleep, definitely don’t take that precious naptime as an opportunity to catch up on every household chore you’ve been missing. Lie down, read a book, or watch a show. On another day go sit outside in the sunshine for a bit. Take a shower. And always make sure to grab something nutritious to snack on and rehydrate. Even small periods of wakeful rest can do wonders for your outlook when a tiny baby has your schedule out of whack.

Prioritize Nighttime Sleep

When it comes to night sleep, getting your own rest becomes even more important than during the day. Your postpartum recovery and mental health depend on getting adequate rest. Even the most well-adjusted babies wake multiple times a night with needs to be met. Prioritize the help of a partner swapping off changing duties if you’re the primary feeding parent, if possible. Doulas of Baltimore can step in to give expert and compassionate care to your newborn while you sleep the night away, and without interrupting your feeding relationship or bonding experience. A professional postpartum doula or Newborn Care Specialist is there to make sure that you wake feeling as rested and refreshed as possible.

Keep the faith! Long winter nights eventually give way to sunny spring mornings. And your tiny, sleepless offspring develop into a more mature and settled creature who can tell night from day. Like the countless families who came before you and will follow in your footsteps, you will become a rested, confident parent who will grow to treasure your nighttime time with your child, whether it’s a bath, an evening stroll around the neighborhood, or the 900th reading of Goodnight Moon.