Most people are familiar with birth planning but what happens when you bring your new baby home? As professionals that walk through the journey of birth with clients every day, we believe Postpartum Planning for expectant parents is equally important as birth planning. Who will walk the dog? Who will prepare dinner? Getting this in line before birth creates a sense of security and peace after baby arrives. Need a hand? Check out our Postpartum Planning Guide below!

What is Postpartum Planning?

Creating a plan for after the baby has arrived covers many different aspects of your life. A good Postpartum Plan should include discussion with your partner and anyone who will be with you for an extended period of time immediately after birth. The plan is meant to facilitate communication between you and your support team, whoever that includes.

What should I consider for my Postpartum Planning Guide?

There are many aspects to running your home and life and planning for all of them can get overwhelming. We recommend that you break everything down into categories. If you like guides, you can download our Postpartum Planning Guide here (for Free!).

Multi page preview of Postpartum Planning Guide from Doulas of Baltimore

Before Pregnancy

We suggest covering topics like parental leave, childcare preferences, birth providers and birth locations and parenting topics.

Early Pregnancy

During your first trimester it’s a great time to discuss things like childcare options, where the baby will sleep in your home, announcing your pregnancy, and care providers for your birth and postpartum.

Mid-Pregnancy

Around your second trimester is a great time to begin hiring support for birth and postpartum, creating your baby registry, planning a Babymoon, and getting to any large house projects like renovations or upgrades.

Late Pregnancy

Your third trimester will feel both long and very short! It’s time to start tying up loose ends like setting up your home to welcome your baby, outline lists of who does what around the house and who can help with those tasks while the birthing parent is healing, and creating a resource list full of providers such as your OBGYN/Midwife, your doula, and your Lactation Consultant.

Easing the Transition

We also recommend considering how you will ease the transition for you, your baby, the baby’s siblings, your fur babies, and your extended family. How will you structure your day? How will you ensure everyone’s needs are met? What boundaries will you put in place to ensure visiting family offers support and not more burdens?

Who should help with my Postpartum Planning Guide?

The best people to help with your postpartum plan fall into two categories. One is the people who will be directly involved in caring for you after you give birth. This could include a partner, siblings, parents, or other loved ones who step up. The other category is the professionals you’ve added to your support team. This could include a chat with your birth doula or a session with your postpartum doula.

 

The best place to begin? In our opinion, our Free Postpartum Planning Guide!

 

There isn’t a handbook for pregnancy, birth, or parenthood and that can be overwhelming. If you’re finding yourself with notebooks or spreadsheets full of information to wade through, you’re not alone. We have access to an entire internet full of recommendations, be they current or outdated. Finding reasonable, science-backed answers can feel like an uphill battle and a lonely one at that. Are childbirth classes really necessary? Are newborn care classes worth it?Where can I find newborn classes and childbirth education in Baltimore?

That’s a call only you and your partner can make.

Childbirth Education

What is Childbirth Education?

Childbirth Education Classes are educational programs taught by experienced instructors well versed in the field of Pregnancy, Birth, and Postpartum. Childbirth Education curriculum varies and classes attended are generally chosen based on your preferences. Some focus heavily on a larger, trademarked curriculum such as Evidence Based Birth or Lamaze, while others are completely unique to the instructor such as Doulas of Baltimore’s signature Complete Childbirth Education Series.

Childbirth Education classes can be taught in person, online, in a group setting, or on an individual basis. There are many options and approaches, the bottom line is finding one that someone you trust teaches.

 

What should my class cover?

While there are many different types of curriculum, and the benefits of childbirth education still require more official study, it’s well known that access to education increases positive outcomes. When looking at classes, ensure yours covers these basic topics:

  • Decision making strategies to ensure you remain an active participant in your birth story
  • Tips for staying healthy and comfortable in late pregnancy
  • Physiology and the process of labor and birth
  • Common interventions and medication options
  • How to create and communicate your birth preferences
  • Hands-on coping, comfort and relaxation techniques 
  • Preparing for the postpartum experience

 

Whether you’re planning on going through childbirth without an epidural or are open to medication, understanding these key topics can help you create the birth and postpartum experience that will set you up for success.

 

Doulas of Baltimore is hosting our Spring session of our Complete Childbirth Series on Saturdays beginning April 6th, 2024 in Baltimore and our One Day Baby 101 workshop in Frederick. Our Complete Childbirth Series runs 4 weeks and covers 12 hours of science-backed education in an affirming and open environment. Our Baby 101 workshop is a one day intensive that gives new parents all the essential information they need. Learn more and register here!

Newborn Care Classes

What are Newborn Care Classes?

Newborn Care Classes are educational sessions for anyone who needs updated information on the care and keeping of newborn babies. Experienced teachers lead these classes who have taken professional training and work in the field. There are many different options for taking these classes including Hospital-based programs and more uniquely designed curriculum created by individuals. Ensure the source and how frequently the materials are updated are considered when searching for your classes. Safety standards for newborns and infants change regularly and ensuring you have the latest information ensures you’re able to keep your baby safe and those around your baby updated.

What should my class cover?

All Newborn Care classes should cover the basics of baby care such as feeding and diapering as well as:

  • Preparing your home and family for a newborn
  • Common baby gear and gadgets
  • Normal newborn characteristics
  • Hygiene including diapering, bathing, and dressing
  • Crying and newborn communication
  • Comfort and bonding techniques
  • Newborn sleep patterns and safe sleep
  • Feeding options and techniques
  • Hunger and satiation cues
  • Common feeding obstacles

 

Doulas of Baltimore has an opportunity for Newborn Care Education this Spring. Join us in Baltimore for our 4 Week Essential Newborn Care Series. This class runs 4 weeks and covers 12 hours of science-backed education in an affirming and open environment. Learn more and register here!

 

When considering the question, “What childbirth classes should I take?” consider who is teaching it, what the course covers, and if the curriculum is aligned with your birth wishes. If you’re searching for infant care classes for new parents we recommend ensuring that the course is based in science and has up-to-date information on safety and development for newborn babies. We recommend if you’re searching for Newborn classes and Childbirth Education in Baltimore or Frederick, consider Doulas of Baltimore!

 

We believe education is one of the most important things you can invest in. Above all when we educate ourselves we empower ourselves to make sound decisions, enter any situation with confidence, and create a great environment for a positive experience. Generally taking classes with your birth partner prior to giving birth can deeply connect you to one another creating a sense of safety and support.

Pinterest graphic about classes for new parents to take

The term ethical screentime sounds like an oxymoron.  No way they both exist at the same time.  But what if it can?

Screens are a part of our life.  As adults, more and more of the functions we used as individual and private services are being moved onto a smart device for easier, faster, and more immediate interaction.

However, as parents, we are warned almost constantly about the dangers of screen time for kids. 

Also, we know the charm and magic of childhood are that the imaginations and curiosity of children explode, hypothetically, when allowed to play.  Playing in this way often does not happen when screens are around.

 

One of the hardest parts of parenting with the intent to promote screen-free-childhoods, or “appropriate screen use”  is the hypocrisy that creeps into the equation.  We, the adults, feel justified and “right” in using our devices, but for kids to have that much time is unhealthy, and not recommended.

We all know it’s not recommended.  But most of us do it.

Could we do screen time better?

It can become a battle to get little people off of their shows and games.  There are tears, and there are fits.  There are very big feelings, on both sides,  when parents interfere with the relationships kids have with their fictional characters.

And that is the thing that is just starting to get understood.  Children intuitively seek relationships.  They do it with almost everyone.  Friends become BEST friends.  Rocks become friends.  Blankets, blocks, books, you name it.  So it makes sense to learn that children form relationships with the characters in the shows they watch.  (It’s not new either.  Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street have been taking advantage of this behavior in educational ways for 50 years!)

And knowing what we know about the human need for belonging and connection, some researchers believe yes, we can do screen time better.

Some of the notions around screen use that have made it to mainstream parenting may sound familiar:

  • set limits and have expectations with appropriate consequences.
  • as your children get more language and more mature, let them be a part of the conversations and let them participate in setting the limits and consequences.
  • And this idea may be new but is useful for you and your kids: before you pick up your phone, say out loud why you are using it.  Are you checking the weather?  Are you sending an email?  Are you playing a game for a little bit?  Making a conscious connection to a sometimes unconscious compulsion can help you realized how mindless some of your screen usages may be.

Addicted to Screens?

There is more recent evidence that may help you understand your role as the parent in helping your children have healthy boundaries with their technology.

Screens and the shows, games, and apps on them are being increasingly described and proven  as “addictive.” 

We all use screens more, and it’s getting harder to have screen-free spaces.  When we are using our screens, it is almost impossible to have a connection with others around us at the same time.

The first three years of your child’s life are packed with neurodevelopment, and up until age 6, your child engages in implicit, not explicit, memory.  Meaning, as psychologist Lisa McCrohan shares, your child’s body remembers, but their cognitive mind does not.  So forming healthy bonds, emotional safety, and strong connections are most important during these young years because it does frame how the child sees the entire world.

One of the fundamental things children need is to feel included.  They need connection to thrive.  So if we are spending these first years letting screens do the relationship building, the neurological pathways that children need to learn how to make connections are not being built to communicate with other people.

They need bonds and connections, and when children do not have those things with the people around them, they will strive to form relationships with the people or things around them, like characters in a favorite show, or game.

Children’s minds are so amazing but also, obviously, not fully formed, so when a beloved show is turned off, if there is no connection to the people outside of the show, the showing going away feels like taking away their best friend for an unknown length of time.  And it is incredibly distressing.

When screens are removed from kids that don’t have healthy boundaries and reliable expectations, there are usually tantrums and wild displays of emotions.  Parents often turn to punishment, separation, or threaten their connection to beloved people or items in an effort to get them to behave – such as taking away screen time or making them sit apart from a group.

The problem is that when parents punish, shame, and threaten behavior from a small person who does not have the emotional development to regulate their feelings, they also weaken the connection between the child and themselves.  No trust is built.  There is no expectation of relationship to fill the gap.  So what is a parent to do?

Screen time and building relationships:

1) Start with what you know: set limits and expectations both for screen time and for relationship building with family members/ friends/ and community members.  When can they expect to have it?  When can they expect to be with family members without screens for the intent of building familial bonds?

2) As a parent, understand your influence and how your behaviors are impacting your children’s view of what is acceptable.  If your children copied your habits, would you be all right with that?

3) Understand that one of the basic needs of children is to belong, and look at how your family shows they love and connect.  With young children, it often means lots unconditional love, eye contact, proximity to one another, and repetitive games.

4) Each child may have unique strengths that you will need to spend time understanding. Relationship building could look like asking for help.  Or it could look like inviting them to run an errand.  Or it could be working on a project together.  It could also be as simple as you the adult, sharing what it was like for you to learn the things your child is learning.

Belonging is fostered when other’s opinions and thoughts are viewed as valuable.  So ask about your child’s thoughts.   Validate them comments, effort, and their physical presence.  Continue to engage by encouraging conversation with questions, eye contact, and respectful replies.

Screens can be a part of your family.  But they aren’t your family, and you have to model behavior that shows your kids there is belonging and connection outside of their electronic device.

Written by Ariel Swift

This is to the people having babies in their 30’s. It is a bit of a whirlwind. Maybe you are at this juncture because of professional choices. Perhaps now is the start of parenting because of earlier heartache. Or maybe you have been terrified of how to afford a kid, and now you finally can.

But you’re here. And one huge surprise is that your friends are not. So, where did they go?

Read more

As long-standing professionals in the birth industry, we at Doulas of Baltimore are exposed both to professional suggestions for how to parent, and opinions based on lore. Shockingly, some of the most “tried and true” pieces of new parent advice that have been passed down from are perpetuating lies.

How?

Either the bits of advice are unsafe, or they perpetuate stereotypes that make a new parent’s first days even more difficult than they already are. Also, isn’t the whole point of advice is to have learned wisdom from those who come before?

Here are a few pieces of “Advice” we wish would go away (in no particular order):

1. “Sleep when the baby is sleeping.”

What most people mean when they say this is when your baby takes a nap during the day, you should take a nap too. However, for most, this is unrealistic. Babies sleep in different cycles than adults, so having the capacity to nap and have that nap be restful, is not necessarily a correlation that makes sense for most new parents.

Also, for most modern day parents, when a child is napping is usually when they can tend to themselves if they do not have help – like shower, eat, and communicate with other adults; do activities that help them restore a feeling of personal autonomy, or help to organize what is happening or needs to happen next in their life.

For most families, this piece of advice does nothing but increase the feeling that as a new parent, you are out of your league.

We say ditch this one as soon as possible.

2. “Don’t leave the house until 40 days have passed.”

Many cultural customs are becoming more mainstream. One of them is the postpartum traditions of being cared for and nurtured for 40 days after birth.

It sounds idealistic.
It sounds lovely.
It sounds downright mythical.

One of the realities not discussed when this piece of advice is shared is the reality that modern parents are usually responsible for getting their infants to medical appointments in the first weeks of life. Also, beyond these appointments (for some who choose homebirth, these appointments may happen in their home) many healing parents are not equipped to be isolated from support systems that are only accessible by venturing out.

It may seem silly to say seeing your favorite barista is part of your healing process after birth, but we’ve heard the stories of women who needed to get out of the house with their baby.

They needed the escape.
They needed a view of their old normalcy.
They needed to see their friend!

Not leaving your house for 40 days is only possible when there are systems in place to fulfill all physical and emotional needs of healing parents, AND the desire is present in the parents themselves. If this is advice place on a family and feels like a punishment, it has the potential to harm.

3. “Don’t take your baby outside before they are two months old.”

This little gem of advice is similar to the last “advice” in that it plants the seed that healing is equated with being secluded and at home. It is common knowledge that infants have a compromised immune system, and, it is possible to have an outing with small babies before they reach the CDC’s recommended time for starting a vaccine schedule.

For many new parents, feeling confined for this period can negatively impact their mental health, while also sending the wrong message about how germs travel through the general public.

If you feel like you are on pins and needles and taking your baby for an outing would help you, there are ways to make this happen that can be beneficial for you, and can be safe for your baby.

4. “Don’t even start pacifiers, because you will never get rid of that thing.”

While this piece of parent advice shared from a place of good intentions, it is usually a reflection of personal experience gone awry.

Pacifiers are a tool.
They can be used in various situations.
They can be used successfully with babies who are fed by breastmilk, and formula both.

While there is no guarantee that your child will use a pacifier, trying it as a way to help soothe a baby with a need for oral stimulation is often a great help to parents.

If you feel scared to give your child a pacifier, be it because of a breastfeeding professional, a parenting book, or a story your friend shared, let us help you learn when and how a pacifier can be useful.