New Parents | Planning for Your New Normal

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New Parents, your life will never be normal again.

Ok, that’s not entirely true. You will settle into a new normal but when a baby is born, life as you know it comes to an end. That can sound daunting! How will you make sure your new baby is cared for, your home is tended to, your work keeps going? When new parents are settling into a new normal it will take work. With some skilled planning and a willingness to shift when needed, you’ll find yourself in a groove before too long.

 

End of New Parents Leave

Usually once a baby has arrived one or both parents will get some amount of leave from their job. Circumstances look different for each employer. Explore what options you and/or your partner have for parental leave once your baby has arrived. How long can you take? When preparing to return to work, consider what will make it easiest including a hybrid or virtual work schedule for a period of time or even permanently. Explore these options and what they will look like with your employer.

New Caregiver

New parents transitioning to a new caregiver will take some effort but with planning it can be as smooth as possible. Ensure your new caregiver has adequate bottles and pumped milk or formula available to feed the baby. Pack their bag well with extra diapers, wipes, outfits, and anything else they may need. Discuss any circumstances unique to your family that your new caregiver may need to understand (is your baby on medication? Do they need to be fed a certain way? etc.) Communication is key to make transitioning to a new caregiver as easy as possible.

Balancing Home/Work

A new baby will always change the dynamics in a house. Consider how to make the transition easier for yourself as new parents, your pets, big siblings, and extended family members. Identify how your household tasks are currently split. Who takes out the trash? What about cooking meals? Who does the dishes? Consider a chart or writing out a schedule for when these things occur and think about planning to prepare food ahead of time while you ease into your new routine.

 

Babies change your life in the blink of an eye and it can feel overwhelming going through all the changes that you will face. With an open mind, lots of communication, and a plan ready, going back to work will feel challenging but not impossible. 

 

Need some extra help? Check out our Free Ultimate Postpartum Planning Guide!

Postpartum Planning Guide | What, How, and Why?

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Most people are familiar with birth planning but what happens when you bring your new baby home? As professionals that walk through the journey of birth with clients every day, we believe Postpartum Planning for expectant parents is equally important as birth planning. Who will walk the dog? Who will prepare dinner? Getting this in line before birth creates a sense of security and peace after baby arrives. Need a hand? Check out our Postpartum Planning Guide below!

What is Postpartum Planning?

Creating a plan for after the baby has arrived covers many different aspects of your life. A good Postpartum Plan should include discussion with your partner and anyone who will be with you for an extended period of time immediately after birth. The plan is meant to facilitate communication between you and your support team, whoever that includes.

What should I consider for my Postpartum Planning Guide?

There are many aspects to running your home and life and planning for all of them can get overwhelming. We recommend that you break everything down into categories. If you like guides, you can download our Postpartum Planning Guide here (for Free!).

Multi page preview of Postpartum Planning Guide from Doulas of Baltimore

Before Pregnancy

We suggest covering topics like parental leave, childcare preferences, birth providers and birth locations and parenting topics.

Early Pregnancy

During your first trimester it’s a great time to discuss things like childcare options, where the baby will sleep in your home, announcing your pregnancy, and care providers for your birth and postpartum.

Mid-Pregnancy

Around your second trimester is a great time to begin hiring support for birth and postpartum, creating your baby registry, planning a Babymoon, and getting to any large house projects like renovations or upgrades.

Late Pregnancy

Your third trimester will feel both long and very short! It’s time to start tying up loose ends like setting up your home to welcome your baby, outline lists of who does what around the house and who can help with those tasks while the birthing parent is healing, and creating a resource list full of providers such as your OBGYN/Midwife, your doula, and your Lactation Consultant.

Easing the Transition

We also recommend considering how you will ease the transition for you, your baby, the baby’s siblings, your fur babies, and your extended family. How will you structure your day? How will you ensure everyone’s needs are met? What boundaries will you put in place to ensure visiting family offers support and not more burdens?

Who should help with my Postpartum Planning Guide?

The best people to help with your postpartum plan fall into two categories. One is the people who will be directly involved in caring for you after you give birth. This could include a partner, siblings, parents, or other loved ones who step up. The other category is the professionals you’ve added to your support team. This could include a chat with your birth doula or a session with your postpartum doula.

 

The best place to begin? In our opinion, our Free Postpartum Planning Guide!

 

Professionals for Your Postpartum Recovery

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You are going to have a baby, and then you are going to have to heal from having a baby. The massive unknown in that equation is all the experiences you will smooch together in your brain and label it: My Birth Story. Your postpartum recovery is a unique and important part of that story.

The birth story of your child starts when every you want it to start, and it ends when you say it ends. Most stories include the moments you thought you were labor, and have a tiny baby being held – by someone – at the end.

But regardless of the events, feelings, and choices of your birth, you will need to recover.

In our experience, the postpartum body and mind are neglected and underserved in the US. There are exceptions, and we have hopes of change. But most families are responsible for making arrangements for their mental and physical needs, all the while also learning and caring for a new person whom they just met.

The following professionals are presented for consideration with full knowledge that seeing all of these professionals may in itself become a difficult task, and therefore may also be a type of harm. So please, know that we know taking it a day at a time is a perfectly reasonable approach to your new life with your new baby. Let this short list be available to you, if and when you are at a place where you are seeking options for extended care outside of the walls of your home.  

Who to include in your postpartum recovery

1. Chiropractor, at a family-friendly office

You can start chiropractic care during pregnancy for aches and pains, and even for help if your baby is presenting breach (or head up). But chiropractic care after delivery may be viewed as a luxury. The baby is born – why keep going?

Once you spend hours and hours, sitting, swaying, rocking, feeding, and not sleeping, your body – while recovering internally from birth – is being used in many ways that are out of the ordinary. Having the care of a chiropractor can help ease your body back into the world where you aren’t carrying a small life inside you, but instead, have a car seat draped over your elbow.

And why a family-friendly office? Because you may have your child with you. And knowing you have the time to be tended to, without needing to worry if anyone has eyes on your babe can mean the world of difference. Ask them if they are prepared to help new moms make their appointments. We’ve seen strollers get pushed back and forth, pacifiers get placed back in a mouth that has just learned to pop it out, and quite a few chins dabbed when a bit of spit up slips out. Ask.

2. Massage Therapist

Your body holds onto events long after they have happened. Are your shoulders tense right now from work, or that conversation yesterday, or because you are thinking about all the things you said you would do?

Now imagine how it will remember the task of moving a child into the world? Your body will be tender, and once you feel comfortable laying on your belly, having care from a professional who can help your body to release the tension it holds will be a world of difference for your mind, as well as your muscles.

You may get weepy on the massage table and not know why. You may miss your baby while in your appointment, and both love it and hate it. Being worked on by your therapist, you might realize, will be the first time in weeks where you are being touched with restorative energy, instead of having to be the one giving stimulation, food, or peace. Massages are not just for birthdays and anniversaries. Your body deserves to have attention be paid to it after doing the critical work of birth.

3. House Cleaner

This last one might be a stretch for you, but we want you to think about hiring a cleaning service to help in your first weeks home with your baby. Your attention will be divided between learning about your new child, grieving the loss of your old life, and being wrecked with an onslaught of hormones and sleep deprivation.

A professional cleaner is not someone you will need to worry yourself over. She or he can reduce your stress if you are frustrated with keeping up with old and new responsibilities, help prevent your space from becoming an isolated cave, and offer peace of mind that you and your baby are not having your immune systems overwhelmed by housework.

If there is a time to invest in supporting your entire family, taking the cleaning stress off of everyone’s plate is a caring way to start your first weeks as new parents.

As always Doulas of Baltimore is honored so many families are choosing our in-home postpartum team to come and help in the postpartum period.  If you would like to talk with us about care options for support inside your home day or night, we want to hear from you. And if you need referrals to some of our favorite local professionals, just let us know!

 

Maternal Health Resources from Doulas of Baltimore

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Around 3.7 million babies are born each year in the US, but we are the only developed country with a rising maternal mortality rate. And that rate is worse for marginalized groups. Black women are three to four times as likely to die of pregnancy and birthing complications as white women and disabled people have a significantly higher risk of dying from pregnancy and childbirth than their able-bodied counterparts. Here is the important statistic, though: 60% of maternal deaths are preventable. Understanding the disparities and providing equity in healthcare access can decrease maternal mortality. To help increase awareness for maternal health, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recognizes Maternal Health Awareness Day every January 23. 

Here are some resources for expectant parents to improve maternal health.

Routine Prenatal Visits are Vital for Your Maternal Health and Baby’s Health

ACOG recommends that you schedule a visit with a care provider as soon as you know you are pregnant. Then, go to all of your visits, even if you feel fine. A prenatal care provider can include an OB/GYN, a family care doctor, a nurse practitioner, or a midwife. The March of Dimes has an extensive guide to prenatal care visits and what to expect. 

Understanding Pregnancy Helps a Health Pregnancy

Our belief is that education, collaborative provider partnership, and unwavering nonjudgmental support can make pregnancy and childbirth one of the most fulfilling and transformative experiences of your life. Understanding pregnancy can help people know what to expect, what to look out for, and how to stay as healthy as possible. For example, preeclampsia is a leading cause of maternal mortality, but many people may not know their risk factors. ACOG has an infographic with preeclampsia basics and an FAQ about staying healthy before and during pregnancy. At Doulas of Baltimore, our Childbirth Education Classes help you feel informed and make confident decisions. 

Postpartum Care Should Be an Ongoing Process

While a lot of focus is placed on the time leading up to childbirth, ACOG has recognized that the postpartum period is important. For parents, this should mean planning and thinking about healthcare, feeding, care, and important decisions (link to last blog) before baby arrives. ACOG believes that postpartum care should be an ongoing process that is individualized for each birthing person. This is especially true for people who have other health conditions that may impact their postpartum health. March of Dimes has an overview of what to expect during postpartum healthcare visits. 

Each pregnancy and birth is unique. By helping parents understand childbirth and the postpartum period, we can hope for healthier families and babies. 

5 Basic Questions to Think About Before Baby Comes Home

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Being pregnant and preparing for birth can feel overwhelming enough without considering what happens when you bring baby home. But postpartum planning before baby arrives can save you a lot of stress when you will want to be resting and recovering from delivery. And, you might have postpartum brain fog that makes thinking about your options (not to mention making decisions) hard. At Doulas of Baltimore, we think of the first three months at home as the fourth trimester. The postpartum period comes with its own challenges and joys. Here are some basic questions to consider before you go into labor that will make your postpartum life easier. 

What will your home look like?

Because nesting is very real, you may have already set up a nursery or room for your baby. But realistically, this isn’t where baby will be spending most of their time. For the first six months, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends baby sleep in your room. But where does baby sleep during daytime naps? Do you want to have a dedicated changing table, setups in different parts of the house, or a moveable station? Where will be the best place to feed baby during the day and at night? Consider the layout of your living space and the setup of cribs, feeding or pumping stations, and changing tables. 

What does everyday at home look like? 

A baby changes things: we know this. And postpartum planning involves thinking about the details of how things have changed. Who will feed baby when they wake up at night? Who will change baby? Who will cook meals? Who will walk the dog? Who will take big sister to school? Who will go to baby’s appointments? Who will clean and tidy the house? 

Who can you go to for extra support? 

While everyone might want to meet your new baby, that doesn’t necessarily mean they can provide the support you need. Consider which friends and family can provide practical support, like buying groceries, cooking meals, walking the dog, or taking care of siblings if you are at the hospital longer than expected. 

Who are the care providers you need?  

With care providers, there are the basic people you need to have planned out, and others that you may want to think about having lined up. While you’ve been dealing with an OB, midwife, and/or doula before birth, afterward you’ll need a pediatrician. You may also want a postpartum doula or lactation consultant. If you are concerned about postpartum depression or emotions after birth, you may want to find a mental health provider before delivery since they can have Before you leave the hospital, you’ll need a carseat installed, and we recommend having it checked by a Child Passenger Safety Technician (CPST) or “car seat tech”.

What does post-parental leave look like? 

There is unfortunately no standard for parental leave, so consider when parents will be going back to work and what happens then. Do you have a nanny, babysitter, friend, or grandparent who can care for baby? Will you need a daycare? 

 

This is just a short overview of questions that we see new parents considering as they bring their babies home. Over the next months, we will be going more in depth on these questions and providing guidance and advice for the postpartum period.