Overnight Postpartum Doula Care

,

We all know that bringing home a new baby means a big transition, whether it’s your first child or your fourth! Many of our clients realize the need for additional support during this transition call on a postpartum doula to help. Our postpartum doulas are Newborn Care Specialists and professionally-trained experts. Daytime postpartum doulas can provide professional support including soothing techniques, feeding guidance, and addressing questions about postpartum physical and mental health. Our overnight postpartum doulas provide much-needed support making sure that the whole family (including visiting parents and in-laws) get the sleep they need, offer feeding support, and encourage safe and developmentally appropriate sleeping habits. 

Sometimes our Newborn Care Specialists are incorrectly referred to as a night nanny or a night nurse. However, doulas and Newborn Care Specialists are neither nannies or nurses, but rather have specialized training for newborn care. 

During every overnight shift, your doula will provide you with a log and notes detailing your baby’s night. Below is a sample of exactly what a shift log from your doula/NCS may look like. 

Overnight Postpartum Doula Shift Notes

8:45pm: Arrived for my 9pm shift. Removed shoes, changed into a fresh DOB shirt and washed hands. Greeted Dad and was escorted upstairs where Mom was nursing the baby. I said hello to Mom and Baby as she got up to change his diaper then chatted with her while she tried to nurse him some more. 

9:15pm: Baby was a bit fussy, so I offered to carry Baby while the parents showed me around the house and chatted about plans for the night. Mom plans to nurse him for his next feeding and then I’ll give a bottle for the one after that. I encouraged both parents to get ready for bed and worked on getting Baby settled down. He was swaddled with a paci then we walked and jiggled and patted until he finally stayed asleep at 10:35. I tried laying him down several times before that but he would start to cry and jostle around. 

10:35 pm: Baby asleep in bassinet.

11:25 pm: He had hiccups and was awake, replaced paci and rocked with hand on his chest.

11:40 pm: Back to sleep.

12:30 am: Fussy. Changed wet diaper and took him to Mom to nurse. 

1:00 am: Burped, changed poopy/wet diaper. Swaddled with Paci and rocked to settle. 

1:15 am: Soundly asleep in bassinet.

3:35 am: Fussing and grunting. Went downstairs to prep a bottle with monitor. Baby finished 2 oz of the 2.5 oz bottle of EBM. 2 huge burps half way through. Texted Mom so she could wake up and pump. 

3:50 am: Back asleep in bassinet.

4:30 am: Brief wake up. Wouldn’t settle with paci, hand on chest or rocking. Finished maybe 1/2 oz of bottle. Burped and right back to sleep. 

6:15 am: Fussy and wouldn’t stay asleep in bassinet. Wanted to be held and would go back to sleep and then wake up as soon as I laid him down, so we rocked in the nursery chair. 

6:35 am: Changed wet/poo diaper. 

6:45 am: Mom came down and nursed him while we talked about the night, including creating sleep associations, tips on keeping baby awake during the day for developmentally appropriate stretches and nursing on demand not to exceed 2.5 hours during the daytime hours. 

7:05 am: Said goodbye to a well rested family!  

 

The goals of an overnight shift might change from night-to-night or family-to-family. This is why our Overnight Newborn Care package includes five continuous weeks of three 10-hour overnight shifts per week. This allows your whole family needed rest and sets a foundation of healthy sleep habits for your baby. This postpartum doula care package can be duplicated for extended support as well. Contact us to find out more about our overnight newborn care.

What Does a Postpartum Doula Do?

, ,

We know that bringing your newest family member home can be exciting and challenging, even if you prepare for baby’s arrival with childbirth education classes and prenatal support. Our trained and certified postpartum doulas help you with a smooth and manageable transition as you welcome a new member to your family. Through a combination of daytime, evening, and overnight shifts, we are here to support your family’s unique needs. Here are the ways we offer practical, informational, and emotional support at home, when you need it. 

A postpartum doula’s practical support helps you take care of baby, yourself, and your family. 

Many times, people come to us looking for practical support when baby comes home. This can include feeding, caring for baby so you can attend to your needs, or helping prepare meals. During an overnight shift, a postpartum doula might put baby to bed, change diapers, and settle baby back to sleep. During a day shift, our support might allow you to take a shower, cook a meal, or breastfeed in peace. As helpful as the practical support is, many families express deep appreciation for the information and hands-on teaching their doula provided during the postpartum adjustment.

We provide information so you understand the 4th trimester. 

The first weeks and months after baby is born are often called the “4th trimester”, and many parents have just as many questions about what to expect as they did during pregnancy (if not more!). Postpartum doulas can do many specific tasks around the house, but many clients report that our value comes from being childbirth and newborn experts. We provide feeding guidance, offer soothing techniques, answer questions about postpartum and newborn health, and information on sleep habits. 

In the morning after a recent overnight shift, our doula talked to one partner about how the night went, and how to get baby sleeping for longer stretches. She offered advice such as creating sleep associations, keeping baby awake during the day for developmentally appropriate stretches, and nursing demands during the day. We are here to provide the support you want, but your doula will also work with you and your family to create the household, feeding, and sleep routines that work for you so that we are no longer needed! 

Emotional support from a postpartum doula helps your family grow and adjust with confidence. 

In general, our postpartum doulas provide fifty hours of in-person support during the baby’s first five weeks at home. These can be split between daytime, evening, and overnight shifts. However, our job as postpartum doulas is to create a smooth transition and give you and your family the skills and knowledge needed to manage the addition of baby. 

For example, during one daytime shift, our doula spoke to one partner about returning to work. He was looking forward to it, but felt guilty about leaving his partner with the new baby at home. Our doula talked about ways to continue contributing and how he could alternate bedtime duties. We are here to provide steadfast, non-judgemental support so you can feel confident about welcoming a new child into your family. 

Learn more about our postpartum doula offerings or contact DOB today!

Tips for Sex & Romance After Baby

When Valentine’s Day approaches and spring is on the horizon, romance is in the air and on the mind. But what happens when you have a new baby and your body is not the body you’ve been accustomed to using for romantic pursuits, or when you’re bone-tired and out of sorts and not exactly thrilled with your partner, or when you really, really want it but can’t figure out how to get it? When the thought of a Valentine’s celebration or a tryst with your partner leaves you panicked rather than thrilled, it’s time to rethink your approach, recreate patterns of engagement, and reopen lines of communication that might have been waylaid following the birth of your new tiny family member.

Let’s take a look at the obstacles that may block you from a satisfying encounter. First, and obviously, there’s the matter of physical healing and changes. Whether you’ve given birth vaginally or via cesarean section, your body has gone through an elemental and dramatic event, and healing takes time. Share with your partner everything your medical provider has told you about recovery from labor and delivery, and be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling and what you need. While textbooks might say you need 6 weeks to recover, many birthing people find it takes them longer to feel like ‘themselves’ again.

Is my body even mine anymore?

Parents of young children often express feeling that they’re “touched out” by the constant contact with little bodies, and so by the time a partner comes looking for some action, the looming possibility of one more touch is enough to send the primary caregiver hiding in a dark closet. If this sounds familiar, the solution is often as simple as some alone time before you attempt to engage with your partner. Don’t take pity on your partner and give in to something you’re not physically ready for; instead, use this opportunity to advocate for yourself and talk openly about your concerns and possible solutions. Intimacy after childbirth often requires a bit more flexibility in your routines as well. You may find that what worked pre-baby, isn’t quite right any longer, and your new postpartum body requires a bit more patience. Take the changes as an exciting cue to learn as a couple, just like you did when you were first together!

Lack of time and space

The logistics of time and space can also interfere with romance, even if you feel physically ready. You and your partner may be exhausted, particularly if one or both of you have returned to work. There’s so much to do around the house, always! And the baby needs to be fed, and older children need so much, so it’s natural to assume that dating and sex will have to be shelved indefinitely. If you are a room-sharing family, you may need to be creative about where nighttime fun time will happen (and there’s nothing wrong with a little creativity!) if it’s going to happen at all. Couples who manage to set up a routine of connection, no matter how quick or simple, will find that they have paved the road for further intimacy when things settle down around the home. A morning kiss, a two-minute hug, a sexy text, a shared weekly podcast to listen to—find something that works for both of you and has nothing to do with babies or household concerns, and stick with it.

Sex and Romance After a Baby? How??

The tips our clients have thanked us for:

  • If you are breastfeeding, introducing a bottle when you feel that your nursing routine is secure can free you up to escape the house for a date night. (A postpartum doula is happy to help with that!)
  • And if you are not in a position to leave baby behind, find a new and interesting outing for the three of you and call it a date.
  • If you’ve been living without a shower or your normal beauty routine since your new one arrived, take a little time to find an outfit and accessories that make you feel great, and remind you of how it felt to be yourself before you became a parent. You may want to hit some sales and find a new outfit to fit your new post-baby body!
  • Compliment your mate on what a great parent they are, and remind them of your last amazing date. Your goal is to set the stage for both of you to feel like two people who remember that they love and miss each other, and who want to make each other a priority.

Communication is the key

Couples who have made their relationships last for decades will tell you that the backbone for success is having open lines of communications. Many partners fear asking for what they want, and may dread criticism or fear rejection, so end up avoiding difficult conversations. It’s particularly common to feel vulnerable when emotions are high, hormones are out of whack, and sleep is a distant memory, but this is precisely the time when asking for what you need is essential.

There are professionals for this??

Don’t discount the benefits of professional help either- if you’re struggling to get your groove back after baby, seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist, talk with a counselor, or reach out to your care provider if you feel your hormones are playing a more significant role than some minor lack in libido. Setting aside some couple time to check in with each other and support each other will pay rewards both short term and long term. Whether that couple time means a fancy dinner, or sitting on a bench in a park with cups of espresso and watching the setting sun together, is up to you.

You may find that taking the lead and asking for what you want is precisely what your partner is hoping for; your new role as parent may have them walking on eggshells around you, and they may not know how or when you want to be touched or how best they can take care of you. With some advanced planning, patience, humor, and grace, you will find that you can reclaim romance, and that it can be deeper and more meaningful than ever. Happy loving!

Baby Blues in Winter: How the Season Can Affect Your Postpartum Emotions

Here’s a scenario that’s all too familiar among parents of newborns: after 40 weeks or so of the excitement and tribulations of pregnancy and labor, you are finally home with your long-awaited bundle of love. You’re trying to settle in and it seems like you are surrounded, as Maggie Rogers sings, “with everyone around me saying ‘You must be so happy now’.” But rather than feeling happy, you are frequently miserable, or overwhelmed, or having second thoughts about this invader in your home. So why aren’t you happy? What’s wrong with you, or with your partner, that you aren’t feeling the glow? 

Welcoming a new human to your family is a monumental change, especially if it’s your first child (though these feelings are in no way limited to parents who have given birth for the first time.) Bodies need recovery time, hormones are wacky, questions and worries abound, and sleep is hard to find. It’s an easy recipe for a stew of sadness and difficulty, so no parent should ever feel any shame about being less than ecstatic in this time of expected joy.

Baby blues or postpartum depression?

The majority of newly postpartum parents experience what’s known medically and commonly as the “baby blues.” Most often experienced by the person who gave birth, it may be felt by any parent, and typically shows up within a few days after their newborn. It can easily be misinterpreted as postpartum depression, which lasts longer and has more serious symptoms (for a quick explanation of the difference by the Mayo Clinic, watch this one minute video). For more detailed information on recognizing postpartum depression,  read the Mayo Clinic’s patient care page; if you suspect you may have postpartum depression, please contact your medical provider as soon as you are able.

The American Pregnancy Association has an excellent article exploring the symptoms of the baby blues. Postpartum doulas are familiar with and trained to help parents grappling with the baby blues, and our clients at Doulas of Baltimore find that having the extra hands to help and wisdom to guide can help them through these weeks of changing emotions, duties, and family dynamics. The most important thing you can do is find a way to practice self-care, which may sound impossible during this time! But even a few quiet moments each day for yourself can make a big difference, whether it’s a full meal, a walk outside, or a few minutes of meditation.

Getting through wintertime with a new baby

Baby blues can strike especially hard during the winter; indeed, many of the symptoms feel the same as those of Seasonal Affective Disorder, and the coping mechanisms look similar. Light is so important for all of us during the winter! Newborns do not need a dark room to sleep, and letting them sleep in full light during the day helps regulate their circadian rhythms, so keep the sunlight coming in during the day as much as you can. Pull a comfy chair over to a sunny window during feeding times and soak it in. Grab yourself a tall glass of water while you’re at it, because hydration is your best friend (fruit-infused water feels luxurious and festive, so pop in a slice of orange or some cranberries or cucumber if you’re able).

The optimal sleeping temperature for babies, by the way, is between 62 and 68 degrees, so cuddle up in cozy blankets and slippers and wrap yourself in warmth, rather than upping the thermostat. And don’t be afraid to get outside in the cold weather! Getting some fresh air into your lungs feels invigorating, and interacting with nature has proven emotional and physical benefits. Wrap yourself up, either with or without baby, and see the sights and smell the smells.

Healthy foods and a pretty table

  • Eating well is a cornerstone of recovery during the postpartum period, so enlist whatever help you can to make that happen.
  • Grocery delivery, meals from neighbors, partners who put in the time in the kitchen, and a rejection of new parent martyrdom are all helpful strategies to make sure you’re getting nutritious food into your belly.
  • Sugar and yeast are dysfunctional partners, so try to limit how much of it you eat and drink.
  • If you have a whole chicken, a bottle of barbecue sauce, and a crockpot, you have a meal waiting for you.
  • A bag of clementines helps your vitamin intake and your bathroom output, and looks pretty in a bowl on your table. Pretty things are important to your outlook and should not be dismissed during these weeks!
  • Speaking of…Fresh flowers from Trader Joe’s can be had for $5 and look lovely on your bedside table.
Be sure to prioritize couple time

If you have the support of a partner at home, use them as much as you can, and recognize that the struggle is real for them, too. This period is rife with stress and changing couple dynamics, and it may be a time to waive the “never go to bed angry” rule for a bit, if you employ it. Keep talking, keep granting amnesty for minor infractions, and keep the faith that this time will sort itself out. Couples often have trouble asking for what they need, but this is a perfect time to start. One thing you will probably need is time alone without the baby, even if it’s just a quiet candlelit bath or an hour to grab coffee with your mom. Plan for it and insist on it, even if the exact timing has to be altered because of your baby’s needs.

The baby blues can feel endless, but will become a blip on your memory timeline as the weeks pass and your body and emotions adjust to your new family reality. Again, if the blues don’t pass within a few weeks, please talk to your provider about the possibility of postpartum depression. Like most phases of infant life, the blues fade away and something new to focus on and master comes along. Love yourself, care for yourself, and allow yourself to be cared for! Journal your feelings, take your feelings for a walk, and acknowledge them as valid and normal, and you should find that all will be well.

Comfort & Joy: Postpartum Meals to Keep You Cozy

Three little words that parents dread: “What’s for dinner?” At the best of times this question can send grown adults into a state of confusion and panic, and for a new family it may seem too much to comprehend to come up with a plan for postpartum meals. Throw the winter holiday season into the mix, and you have a recipe that calls for crawling into a cave and hiding till summer. But, you’d have to find food to bring with you anyway, so you might as well just figure this out now.

Planning for the early days

The first postpartum months are likely to find you in survival mode, just hoping to keep yourself and your family nourished for another day. You may think fondly back a few weeks ago to lunches out with friends or coworkers, as you scrape together a plate of crackers and deli turkey and wish for a food fairy to appear in your kitchen. Believe it or not, you are just a handful of ingredients and a few pots and spoons away from some delicious, filling, and festive dishes!

When planning meals for these early postpartum months, keep in mind the dietary needs that you have most likely discussed with your care provider. Most new parents need protein, fiber, and iron, along with plenty of liquids for hydration. If you are tempted to begin a new diet to address baby weight gain, please be upfront with your provider about your plans to ensure that you are being safe and getting everything you need for proper nutrition and recovery. Allow yourself to rest from the demands of trying to bounce back in your “4th trimester”, and plan to ease into health over at least 12 weeks. Newborns mean your time and your hands will be in demand, so your goal should be meals that are quick, simple, and packed with nutrition.

Your first step is to release yourself from expectations and obligations, and to embrace shortcuts and outside help. This can be especially difficult if you love to spend time creating in your kitchen and if holiday meals spark joy for you. If this resonates, try to ask for and carve out some time to spend a few hours immersed in the cooking process while others care for your newborn. Remember, though, that your responsibilities for feeding others in these first months with an infant begin and end within the walls of your home. This is not the year for a five-course meal for 16 relatives.

Don’t shy away from outside help

There is no shame in using frozen pie crust instead of homemade, and a pre-made mirepoix from the grocery store is much easier than buying, cleaning, and chopping those vegetables on your own. Online ordering and home delivery can be your BFFs; consider them to be essentials rather than luxuries during this special time. A grocery delivery subscription can be a great registry item for those well-meaning but long-distance relatives!

When searching for meal options, one great possibility is dump recipes that consist mostly of opening cans and heating the dish in one pot, like a stockpot or slow cooker. Brisket is crazy-easy and delicious in a slow cooker; you can find directions and recipes for quick homemade BBQ sauce online, or just use your favorite bottled sauce. With a package of refrigerated tortellini, a few cans of vegetable or chicken broth, and some shredded carrots, you have soup. How about a low-fuss turkey dinner in a slow cooker? You can do it with this recipe from Taste of Home. Make a simple, festive potato dish fit for any celebration by swirling mashed potatoes together with mashed sweet potatoes in a casserole baker, and topping with paprika and parsley and warming through in an oven.

Considering opting out of the temptation for ‘fast food’ that can leave you feeling sluggish and bloated during this especially vulnerable time of healing. Many local favorites such as Graul’s or Eddie’s of Roland Park offer wonderfully nutritious pre-made meal options that can feed you and your whole crowd of holiday cohorts!

Lastly, let’s not forget dessert!

Desserts are an essential part of the holidays for many of us, and can be done simply at home if it’s meaningful to you to make your own rather than pick something up at your favorite bakery. Again, a frozen pie crust or its relative, frozen puff pastry, can be a lifesaver when paired with your choice of canned or fresh seasonal fruit. Top pies and tarts with a few cranberries or pomegranate arils or a shake of cinnamon sugar for a pop of festive color and flavor.

If this isn’t your first rodeo with a new baby at home and you have older children, try to set aside a weekend afternoon for a baking session with them. They will remember and love the time with you, and there will not be so many sprinkles on the floor that they’ll be impossible to clean later. If you can grab a little time, mix up some sugar cookie dough, then divide it and color some of it with the holiday colors you like so your young ones can shape, pat, and twist candy cane cookies or wreaths. If you don’t have time to mix your own, you can find delicious sugar cookie dough in refrigerated tubes at grocery stores.

Depending on the needs of your baby and yourself, you may need an extra hand or two even with the most straightforward meal plan. Enlisting the help of a friend, relative, or doula may give you a few treasured hours to accomplish more than you might feel is possible on your own. Doulas of Baltimore can provide an experienced set of hands to assist with light meal prep and kitchen help, or will occupy your wee ones while you escape to the kitchen for a few blissful hours. Whether preparing dinner is a source of comfort or a source of anxiety, with a little practice and the right ingredients you may find that you’re capable of some pretty great meals. Happy and delicious holidays to you and your family!